~~This Time It's Different by Evans Blue~~

Language Barriers?

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Be Here

On this night I try not to cry
On this night you're so far from me
On this night all I can do is lie
On this night I can't let you see my agony
Please my love, stand by my side
I need you here, my love
I can't be alone anymore
I'm wishing so hard on the stars above
But you won't walk through that door
You're so far away
But I need you now!
Won't you come to me today?
Find your way here somehow?
But I know that you miss me
And that I'm not the only one enduring agony

You're Never Going Home

Come on come on let's get high
Come on come on let's win this fight
Come on come on who cares if we die?
Come on come on we're losing our minds tonight
Let's sing and dance
You know you won't ever be bored
In this wild and crazy meeting of circumstance
There's no place to go but forward
Come on come on no need to be sane
Come on come on wanna have some fun?
When it's all over, let's go again!
With Ulysses, you'll never be done
So come on come on let's get high
Come on come on who cares if we die?

It was inspired by this song: 

Monday, November 28, 2011

Why For Art Thou Awesome?--Life Post


Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo?

Did I honestly just say that?

Guess what we're doing in English class kiddies.....


Jk Romeo and Juliet duh.

But the title has meaning....Of course it does.

Well....Let's see...On the good side I made a new friend!

On the bad side.....He's someone my friend Saira wanted to be my pretend boyfriend.

On the good side....He seems to be a good guy.

On the bad side.....I am deadly close to maybe falling for him.

So as usual....Things are screwed up.



Why Am I Cute?--Life Post

So many people say that to me.....Dylan, Tolga, Alex, Emmy, and basically everybody else tells me that I'm cute. What the hell? I love you dudes, but...I ISH NOT CUTE!

Dude....I just said 'ish.'

And when I was talking to Alex I managed to misspell 'on.' I said 'oon.' Okay....Maybe they have a point in calling me cute but....I dunno. :S I wuv you dudes, really I do, but come on guys! All of you? Everyone who gives a shit about me calls me cute?


And, on an entertaining side note, I know what Alex looks like. My Wolf has black hair, green eyes, and he's a bit pale but apparently his figure makes up for it. ;D He sounds hot. I hope he's tall. I like tall guys.

Yeah....He thinks looks shouldn't matter in a relationship so he refused to tell me what he looks like. Ah wells. T.T


Now I'm talking like I'm on chatango. (IF YOU HAVE AN ACCOUNT ADD ME I'M BOHEMIAL!)

Well....Looks like I'm running outta things to say tonight.

Hey kiddies....I miss Alex....I miss my Wolf....Log on love....

It's midnight where he is right now.....I wonder if he's asleep right now. I'm wondering what happened in his day to make him unable to send me a message. I wonder if he's thinking about me. I wonder if he misses me as much as I miss him.

Hey Wolf.....I love you, wherever you are, wherever you go, and whatever you do. As long as you remain my Wolf, I love you.

I love you and I will wait for you for as long as it takes.

I promise.

I love you kiddies. I'll talk to you'se later.


Sunday, November 27, 2011

Forgiveness? Atonement? Trust? Loyalty? Love?--Life Post

I should be asleep. But...I'm not. And.....I've barely slept. Barely eaten. I don't know anything anymore. Everything is going so fast.......There's nothing left that I can understand......

Hey kiddies.......Would you forgive me if I just walked away forever? From all of this?

Would you forgive me if I never posted on here again?

Never Tweeted?

Never answered emails?

Deactivated everything and just walked away?


I doubt you would. *Dramatic sigh.*

Which is why I won't.

Kiddies....You guys know how hard this is on me. How much I'm hurting. How I'm breaking.

How I'm looking for a way to self-destruct.

Kiddies, I love you.

I just can no longer control the path of my life.

Tolga is gone.

Dylan still loves me.

I belong to my Wolf.

And...Emily hates me......

I know that's old news kiddies, but.....I just.......I just can't anymore......

And Joseph....*Laughs.* Why do I still even bother mentioning him?

It doesn't matter anymore world.

None of this matters anymore.

Can I forgive myself for the things I did with Tolga and how much I hurt both him, Emily, Dylan, and god only knows who else? Can I atone for the wrongs I have committed and the mistakes I have made? Can I trust myself to not destroy everything I have worked so hard to get? Can I remain loyal to someone I will barely get the chance to speak to?

Can I love someone when I doubt I can even love myself?

Kiddies........Kill me.....

Yours Truly,

Black Rabbit, Princess, and Angel.

There's No One In the World Like Emily

Forgiveness and self-hatred war within my heart
I think on this day I can finally start
To wash away the blood on my hands
Because I know that Alex understands
I may have borne the blame
But now I can wash away the shame
Of how much I had done to her
As now the one I was meant to have and I are together
But within my heart and soul I will always know
That it will be so hard to let her go
I know far, far too well
That without her I will enter a brand new hell
Or can I perhaps find the light
In this, the darkest of nights?
There is no one in the world like Emily
But yet......Now Alex loves me
So can this young rabbit forgive herself
And put her heart on her Wolf's shelf?
Can she learn to live with knowing
How much she hurt Emily by going?
I think that perhaps I can
Now that I have found the man
With whom I was forever meant to be
But I'll always know he will never be my Emily

Will You Still Love Me?

Will you still love me as the weeks fly by?
Will you forgive me for the times I make you cry?
Will you still be by my side
As you realize all the things that I tried to hide?
You tell me you love me
You tell me you'll protect me
My Wolf and my world, forever
As the time flies by, will we still be together?
You know what? I think this time I know
That he will never let me go
I think this time I've found the one for me
The one who will never cause me agony
A perfect gentleman, everything I need
The one who will never make my heart bleed
I love you forever
Can we always be together?

Saturday, November 26, 2011

There Is Nothing To Say

I can't explain, nor try to catch you up
I won't even bother to attempt to rhyme
You see, for once I am happy
For once I have within me hope
What I have found is perfection
A perfect gentleman
A kindly Wolf
A poet who loves me true
He stepped in when help was required
Stole my heart after I stole his
Protected me and kept me safe
Fought for me through thick and thin
Despite how little he knew me
I became swiftly his Black Rabbit
His beautiful delicate girl
We danced, smiled and laughed
Became what we are now
And perhaps we'll continue like this
Forever and evermore
Despite distance
Despite age
Despite everything
Because this young Black Rabbit
Belongs to her Wolf
And to him alone
Forever with neither doubt
Nor clawing fear

Alexander Rowan Garden.

A perfect gentleman
Love for you came so swiftly
Even though what we have is imperfect
Xerces will not tear us apart
Although I have never seen your face
Now I know that I love you
Don't ever doubt that for an instant
Evermore you will not lose my heart
Reality will never wake us from this dream

Resting my head upon your chest
On this night I know I'll dream of you
Will you promise me that you will remain?
Always by my side forever?
Never letting me go?

Giving my heart to you
A Black Rabbit loving her Wolf
Really....Doesn't this sound like a children's story?
Dreams instead of reality?
Even though we barely know each other
Now we are together until the end.

My Wolf........ <3

Songs For Love--Life Post and Links

Tolga's Song

"I wanna be with my baby."
"I've been thinking about you all night....I don't want to lose your love, Alexandra."
"Will you wait for me?"
"Princess, thou art mine."
"I belong to you, my sweet Queen."
"Nothing will keep me away from my baby."
"I promise I will make everything okay."
"No one can harm you when you're under my protection."

Alexander's Song

"May I have this dance?"
"You will have my love wherever you go, whatever you do."
"Unless the Wolf is tamed, he is not safe for a Black Rabbit to love."
"I have already fallen for you, so what's the harm if you fall for me?"
"In the game of love, I play poker."
"Just promise me you'll be careful."
"I love you, je taime, ti amo, ich leibe dich."

Dylan's Song

"I never stopped caring about you."
"I am so sorry for all of my mistakes."
"I never thought that I could ever hurt as much again as I did when I left you."
"I will try so hard to keep you whole."
"My Angel.....I love you."
"I'm the one who should be apologizing."

One for All

"I'm not safe for you."
"Please keep me safe?"
"I love you forever."
"I will wait for you to find me."
"I'll try my best to keep my promises."
"How do you love me?"

I'm sorry.

Tolga...I love you.

Alex....I love you.

Dylan....I love you.

Forgive me.

You Never Stopped?

You never stopped loving me?
But....You told me you did
Why did you lie to me?
The fact that I always loved you was never hid
So now that I'm falling inside the black
You choose a fine time
To tell me you'd be willing to take me back
So with this blasted bad rhyme
What do I have left to say?
Tell you that I love you?
I told you that today
So what's left for me to do?
Where do we go from here?
Can we even stay friends?
Or will the beginning of all this fear
Mark when this ends?
I don't know anything
I'm so afraid
You were my everything
What game is it that you played?

Would you still love me if I broke completely?

The Story of Love--Life Post

I don't know what I'm doing.....I can barely think or feel...I just wanna scream...I just wanna run...Just wanna burst into tears. I just wanna get out of here. I just want to go back to when nothing mattered and no one cared. When it was just me without any sites, just trying my way alone in the world. I'm so sorry...So damnably sorry...As if it matters if I apologize or try to atone for the things I've done. There's no going back. No healing. Nothing left but to keep stumbling forward. Nothing left but to just keep trying to live, even though there isn't anything worth it. Nothing left that's worth all of this agony. I'm slipping down, drowning, dying, and praying. But there's no one up there who will answer me. I'm fading away and I'm screaming. How could this happen to me? Why isn't anyone answering me? Why am I being tested? Why am I being pushed until I break? How far can I go? I'm sorry, listen to me, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! So sorry......

Stop asking me to be what I can't be....I'm sorry! Stop asking me those questions...Stop it...Just stop it! Stop telling me you love me! Stop telling me you'll keep me safe! Stop it! Just stop it now! Stop it...I can't take this anymore! Leave me alone! Leave me the hell alone...GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! STAY AWAY FROM ME! Just please....Please........

Why am I freaking out you ask? Well...Here's the story.

So here we have a young Black Rabbit, beloved by many, but broken beyond repair. One who knows she only hurts the ones who protect her, and warns them, but they never listen. And she is so scared, so scared of everything. And then enter a King, demanding but caring, wanting so badly to protect her. Black Rabbit, wanting to please, lets him believe she loves him as much as he loves her, even though she might be incapable of it. And how can she know if her King does love her? To make things more confusing, enter a gentlemanly Wolf, one who finds what is going on and steps in to help. He asks her for a dance, answers her questions kindly, makes her laugh. And then kisses her. Now poor Black Rabbit, barely over so much agony, is left wondering how this happened to her, and who is safe to love: The King who wants more than she can provide but who swears he will love her forever, or the Wolf who only wants her happiness but just happens to be the stepbrother of one of her best friends?

The King's name is Tolga. He's twenty one years of age, seven years older than I. He lives in the Netherlands. He tells me he loves me. He tells me he will always protect me, always keep me safe. But he wishes from me sex. And a child. And to be his girlfriend, his baby, forever. Not anyone else's. Never anyone else's. He wants from me sex, and I...I gave it to him. He is solely online.....I just...I just could not tell him no.

And my Wolf...God my Wolf...I love him. He's seventeen, elegant, aristocratic, perhaps perfect. His name is Alexander. He's a poet. So sweet and so kind. All that he wants from me is a promise for me to be careful. We danced. He gave me a tour of his house. We shared iced teas and cakes. He told me he loved me, told me the sweetest things, that he will respect whatever choice I make.

I can't control this anymore.

Tolga, my King, I love you.

Alexander, my Wolf, I love you.

Forgive me.

Protect Me--If You Dare

So don't try to be kind
I'm losing my mind
Keep me safe if you think you can
Trusting you ain't part of the plan
I loved you once--hell's yes I did
But now all the things that I once hid?
Well, now they're breaking my mask
And what lies beneath, you ask?
Am I heartless? Am I cold?
Am I young? Am I old?
What am I precisely?
Angel, Princess--you don't know me at all do you?
Those pretty names that you call me
Those, my friends, don't fit me that well
I'm no longer an angel
If you want to care I warn you

Trusting me might be the worst thing you ever do
I'm warning you now to stay away from me

Before I cause you agony
Oh, lord, it won't be intentional
I swear all the pain is accidental
But it'll happen anyways, so if you want to care
Protect me if you dare.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Can You Hear Me?

Buried six feet under
So how can I hear the distant thunder?
Now at least I'm screaming, however silently
Begging and pleading desperately
Please, God, come back to me!
Don't you dare leave me!
Well, at least now I can feel my heart break
Before today I couldn't shake
The feeling of not being real
But now at last I can feel
And, oh God, the agony
It fills me so quickly
Drowns me in waves of black
I was only safe with you
Walking away from you was the wrong thing to do
Please don't tell me it's done
Oh, God......You were the one!
So can you hear me?
As I call out your name fearfully?
Or have you stopped hearing me?
Are you now walking away from me?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I Missed You--Life Post

Mad Hatter never existed. But....He did exist. You see, the account xXSinOfHeartsXx, belonged to two people: Alex and his little brother Simon. Alex was the one who wrote the poems.

But it was Simon who answered the messages. It was Simon I knew, Simon I loved. Simon who meant the world to me. I just....never knew his real name until now. I always thought he was Alex. I called him Mad Hatter, talked to him daily, loved him heart and soul. He was everything to me.

And...Mad Hatter was only a friend to me so don't give me that look!!!!

He had one of the roughest love lives I had ever seen, so I didn't feel like adding to it at all.

Mad Hatter had been offline for a long time. He only went back on today and I read in his journal the truth--and also a way to find him on a different site.

I made an account on that site. Found him.

I love you Mad Hatter!!!!!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Never Letting You Go

I have never felt more afraid. More alone. More lost. You had been the only thing I wanted, the only thing I needed. And now...Now you're gone....I'm left behind, even though you had sworn to me you would never go.

Your name had been Jason Gray. You were my best friend. Oh God...Past tense.....Jason, I love you, please God no don't do this......Don't leave me alone!

You were my best friend. Jason, everyone loved you. You were everything I cared about. Everything I wanted. The only one I had fully trusted. And, God, Jason, you were everything I had wanted to be. Smart. Funny. Handsome. Loved. Went to parties. Had an amazing boyfriend.

But then....Oh God could it only be yesterday....? Could it only be yesterday that you went out with a bang?

I think I could forgive you easier if it had only been a single bang...

God, Jason, I still see it.....I looked, Jason; forgive me God I looked.....

I saw you shoot her, Jason. I saw you shoot her, shoot Mckayla, shoot her dead. And I heard, Jason, I heard what you said.....

"Don't look, Dan, don't look at me I can't take it...." you'd said to me, shaking like a leaf.....God, Jason, you used to be so strong....What changed? Jason, what changed?

"I love you, Mckayla, I'll see you soon....." you said next, watching her slump down the wall, her blond hair fanning out like a halo, blood already staining her blue dress like a morbid corsage.

And then you....Oh God don't....God please please please please God.......


But I remember....Jason, I remember everything.......

You turned to look at me....You smiled, Jason, such a small sad smile....

"Dan, forgive me....." you whispered, and oh God I knew.....I knew it was the last time you'd say my name....

"Jason, don't.....Oh God no....." I murmured, wanting to tell him I loved him, that I forgave him.......To stop, please God just stop......

Jason, you look at me, green eyes filled with tears....I remember all too well when they used to be flooded with laughter.....

And then.....

You pull the trigger.

Slump, slowly, so so slowly, blood trickling from your chest.

For a second, just for a single shocked second, I wonder at the lack of blood. Think: His heart must have stopped instantly.

I fall to my knees. Pull your black-haired head head onto my lap.

Close your eyes.

Say a prayer over your body. You, Jason, my best friend.....

Look around me, around us, at the bodies and the bloodstains.

See the group of kids that had bullied me lying in a heap, expressions of scorn torn into ones of horror.

See Maddy, who I'd always loved, lying beneath her boyfriend's body.

He hadn't managed to stop the bullets. He hadn't managed to protect her, or anyone else.

No one had.

How many lay dead here?

The supervisors of the dance had fallen first. Then the dancers, couples, and groups of friends. All of them dressed up in their rented suits and pretty dresses.

I listen to the music. Throughout the screams, throughout the horror, the blood, and the death the speakers had pumped Firework by Katie Perry.

As I sat there, in the silence and the blood, the song changes to Tomorrow Never Comes by VNV Nation.

I wonder if you can hear it. Jason, can you hear it? It was your favorite song, Jason; it was your favorite song. You used to walk around the hallways at school just singing it. You'd tag buildings with the lyrics. Sign reports with it. Doodle it on your notebooks.

Are you listening to it with me?

Can you hear it?

What feels like an hour later, but must have been only minutes, men in black uniforms burst through the gym doors.

They stop and stare.

I lift you into my arms, cradle you against my chest. "I'm not letting you go, Jason, I'm not letting go....."

One of the men says softly into the silence, "Is there anyone else left?"

I shake my head, still holding Jason tightly.

|The man who had spoken walks toward me.

Looks at me.

I feel his eyes meet mine, despite the distance between us.

He knees beside me in the pool of blood.

Pulls Jason from my arms.

Rests him gently down, tenderly, as if he was made of crystal.

The policeman hugs me tightly.

And I start screaming.

I wake in the hospital.

Curl up in the bed.

Smell the blood.

I'll never forget it, Jason, I'll never forget the blood....

Jason, why....?

You had everything.

I had nothing.

Nothing but you and a family that hated me.

Why did you leave me alive?

Jason, why didn't you take me with you?

I will never forget you, never let you go.

Jason, you were my best friend.

Jason, I love you.

Jason, I...I forgive you.

For everything but leaving me alive.

Since When?--DIALOGUE

This is a transcript of a convo I had on the bus this morning with my friend Amber. <3 you girl!

Amber: Since when do you care about makeup?

Me: Since when do I let an air cadet give me a makeover?

Amber: Since when do you care about makeup? (NOTE: I was never one for makeup, so don't blame her for getting a bit stuck on that.--Alex)

Me: Since when do I tell a homophobic I'm bi? Since when do I come out on Facebook? Since when do I tell my dad?

Amber: Since when--okay, why are you telling people?

Me: Since I stopped caring about what people think of me.

Amber: So, what you're telling me is that basically you'll go to school with clown makeup?

Me: Did I honestly do that bad a job?! (Note: Today was my first real day of makeup. I know I'm lame.--Alex)

Amber: No, it looks fine. I meant like bright red lipstick, eyeshadow, and bright red blush.

Me: Since when do I own that?

Amber: What? If you owned it you'd do it?

Me: Hell's yeah

Amber: What happened to you?

Me: I wish I knew

Amber: Since when do you know who you are?

Me: Since when does it matter whether or not I know?

Amber: *Takes closer look at my hair* Since when do you have coontails?

Me: Since when are coontails not awesome?

Amber: I never said they weren't. I have freaking coontails.

Me: Which look a lot better than mine.

Amber: No, yours are cool. I just gotta ask: What happened to you?

Me: I became who I am.

Amber: And who is that?

Me: Since when do I know?

Monday, November 21, 2011



Here at last I stand
Emily, now open your eyes, I've removed my mask
And now in my eyes you glimpse the hate
Reality is always darker than the dream
Tonight I will destroy you, make you hate me
Love, I will enjoy it, you know I will
Even though you think it's you who won
Sweetheart, it was me who ended things
So get the hell out and never return


Sleeping, barely alive, at least now I am free
How you never say this coming I don't know
Angels are never real, you see
They always, always fall
The truth is we aren't real
Evermore we'll stand here laughing as your faces fill with horror
Reality is always going to be darker than the dream
Dear, you should've known this was coming

Maybe now you'll understand that I always hated you
And even though I would have spent the rest of my life with you
Sweetheart, I wouldn't have been happy
Killing you inside is what I want to do

*Falls To My Knees Begging*--Plea

I officially have no pride anymore....I just want followers, fan mail.....If you honestly love this blog, please let me know. I know all I've got to offer is poetry, a weird life, and attempts at wisdom. I know I am not a fashion blogger, one with anything at all really to offer but myself. But if my blog is beloved, I would truly appreciate someone hitting me up on Twitter at Alex_AngelWing, Facebook at the badge way the hell down there, Quizilla at BohemiAltheAuthor or BohemialtheAuthorsHeart, MSN at annashadowlight@hotmail.ca, or yahoo at saviorsangel11@yahoo.ca. So feel free to hit me up whenever. I love you guys--but really if you love ME let me know! ;)

I gotta get writing, so byes!!!

Knives, Pens, and Teenagers XO--Thoughts Post

Alright, have a few links.....

My Chemical Romance--Teenagers

Black Veil Brides--Knives and Pens

So listen to those songs, and then ask me what they've got in common: A hell of a lot.

Teenagers and Knives and Pens are basically about, well, us. About what this world expects of us. What we'e 'supposed' to do, 'supposed' to be. Teenagers contains most of those elements, of how hard a time we teenagers are put through, and how adults treat us like we're dangerous while ruining our lives. Just, really, what are we supposed to be? What are we expected to do? How do we fight back? Gain attention? Survive? Why, Knives and Pens seem to be our favorite methods.

We cut. Write poetry. Slam our enemies on our blogs, on Facebook, Twitter....All the while searching for ourselves. All the while making mistakes. All the while trying to get good grades, decide who and what we want to be, live out our lives, deal with drama just because it's what we're supposed to be doing. We're called drama queens and kings--is that what we want to be, or what we're expected to be?

Can we ever be free? Can we ever live? Can we ever deal?

The teen years are supposed to be the best ever. High school--isn't it supposed to be amazing? Parties, late nights, dating, summer love? Instead, it ends so fast......

On the rise, teen suicide, when will we realize we're desensitized by the lies of the world?--Skillet, Looking for Angels

When will we realize that? When will we stop dying? When will we finally be free?

When we become adults? Hell, no! It's far too late to live. So when? When they stop expecting us to be perfect?

As if that'll ever happen.

So can we ever be free?

I'm sorry to say that we won't.

We just gotta stand together, us so-called outsiders. Stand by me, metalheads, BVB Army members, MCRmy, all of us. Stand by me, bloggers, poets, authors, cutters, emos, scenesters, punks, Goths, weirdos, loners, losers. Stand together 'cause together's the only way we're getting outta here alive.

And don't forget one thing....


The Fear of Teenagers.

I Hate You

I hate you now, so go and leave me be
You, girl, are the cause of far too much agony
Don't ask me to take you back
Within my heart I know I'll always lack
Something resembling love for you
And now I can do what I've always wanted to do:
Slam you hard against the hard brick wall
Laugh and grab the knife as you fall
Smile with pride as your eyes feel with fear
You, girl, are never leaving here
You deserve this, admit it, I should hurt you more
I just can't take the thought of that locked door
I want out too, you see
I'm only remaining here long enough to cause you agony
Heartless and cold I laugh and smile
I know I've only got a while
To make you pay for what you did to me
You deserve this, sweet sweet Emily

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes I'm heartless, sadistic, and majorly mad right now. Deal with it it's three in the morning.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Would Death Be My Escape?

Trying not to cry
I wonder if I can remain
I wonder if all my love for you had been a lie
I wonder if I can recover after the pain
Can I stay here?
Let you return to me?
Or is there too much to fear?
Too much agony?
Will I ever become the girl I was before?
Or is she now dead?
Did you kill her when you slammed the door?
Make her cry tears tainted red?
The pieces of me are scattered all around
Bloodied feathers fly still in the sky
Upon my knees on the unforgiving ground
I just wish that I could die
Would it mean that I would be free?
Is death the only escape that's left?
But, no, the ones I love hold onto me
And I refuse to leave them bereft
Of the girl they call an angel
Because even though I don't deserve that name
After going through so much hell
I know I will never be the same

Saturday, November 19, 2011


Hey, hey, hey! Guess what today is.....! DYLAN'S BIRTHDAY! BRING ON THE CAKE! God, I wish I could totally tackle him with a hug right now....! But he lives too far away :(

So, Dylan darlin', here's what I gave ya:

Sweet, kind, beautiful, loving
And close to perfect in my eyes
Vicariously perched on the knife’s edge, black wings spread wide
In between the horror of hell and the pleasure of heaven
Open lips begging for a kiss
Righteous and sinful, yet so very young
Silent but calling out in fear nonetheless

Beating the air with her wings, she tries to fly
Raising herself a few inches before falling again
Opened eyes flood with fear and grief
Knowing not if she will ever soar once more
Evermore she could be trapped on the knife’s edge
Never very far from Heaven, nor from Hell

Although we reach out to her, offering her protection
Never again will she be truly safe
Gracelessly she tries to fly, but falls again
Even though she is so weak, all of us
Love her truly, heart and soul, forever


I should kick your ass
You treat me without a hint of class
You call me Ms. IBTs
You tell me I’ve got cooties and fleas
You call me a rapist
But somehow I don’t get too badly pissed
You tell me I’m a leper
I figure I should endeavor
To get my revenge on you
But laughing is all I can do
Why? It’s funny as hell
The joke’s on me. Oh well
As long as it’s fun for you
I’ll go along with whatever you do
If you weren’t my best friend
Your bones’d take a while to mend
Nobody else has the right
To do this to me without a fight
You and I can be so freaking wrong
If it wasn’t you, I’d say so long
You tell me I’m so cute
I should leave on your ass the imprint of my boot
You I know I have a right to kill
But I know I never, ever will
So do whatever you want to
Because, asshole, I wuv oo

Before you found me, I was all but alone
Even though my life was simpler then, it wasn’t better
So because of you my life has changed
Thank you for that, even though there’s been so much pain

Forever, I swear I’ll remain in your life
Reality and the dream aren’t different now
Inside my heart you’ve got your place, forever
Ending this and walking away I swear I won’t do
Don’t ever doubt me when I tell you I love you
Sweetheart, you’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not

Friendships like this are very rare, and even though the gold is gone
On us I know the gods are smiling
Right and wrong no longer matter, as long as we’re together
Even though I know you don’t love me anymore
Vines of love still bind me to you
Even though you and I have lost the gold
Reality would be a nightmare without you by my side

            Happy birthday, Dylan. You know, I’ve been trying to think of a gift for you for about a week or so now. And do you know what I’ve come up with? Nothing that I haven’t already given you. My heart? Yours as a friend. My love? You’ve got it sweets. Poems? You have four million ones I’ve written about you. Blog posts? Going on five or six now. My friendship, forever? I promised you that, and I’ll go to the ends of the earth to keep that promise.
            Darlin’, you’re my best friend. If I’m feeling alone or afraid, I’ll think of you, and I won’t feel so bad anymore. There isn’t a thing on this earth that I can’t tell you. I trust you with my life.
            And hell yes you and me have been through some crazy times. But we’ve always been there for each other in the end. We’ve made it through hell and high water, haven’t we? So who cares about all the things that have come before? All that matters is that we have each other.
           Yeah….you do have me, sweets. Did you ever notice that I don’t think I’ve ever told you no? Whatever you asked me to do I would do without hesitation. And I’ll still do whatever you want. I don’t know why I do that; I just do.
            I could spend a hundred pages telling you how much you mean to me. Telling you that I will be your friend forever, love you forever, and that I will never stop trying my hardest to be the perfect friend for you.
            But….I think that you already know all of that.
            So I’ll end it here.
             I love you, Dylan Cummins.
             Happy birthday, Cupcake.

Happy Birthday Dylan. Love, your Angel