Of all the people I know, I am the one who should be writing this post….I’m the one who has gone through so much online. I have gone through quite a bit, far more than it is possible to ever say….This will be a very long post kiddies, so settle in, grab a coffee, and get ready to read and keep right on reading.
CYBERING
So kiddies, do I need to really explain what it is? It’s cyber sex loves. Something pretty freaking common. If you didn’t know about it, than hey don’t worry. I’ve had a psychotic online life and I can’t expect all of you guys to be the same way…..
A lot of people don’t think it means anything……A lot of people just think it’s something to do, something to turn you on, something fun. But I have to disagree—in an online relationship, it means the same thing as the real thing. Of course it has faintly less meaning, and just because a couple will cyber doesn’t mean they will do the same thing in real life, but yet it does mean something. It’s a way to show and prove love, and yes if you’re dating someone, online or in real life, you cannot cyber with anyone else. Cybering definitely means a lot.
And for those of you who don’t know how? Well….I’ll show ya. *Kisses William hard, pressing close to him, wrapping my arms around him tightly, sighing into his lips.*
That is basically how you cyber. And dudes I’ve gotten way more experience with it than I wanna say. -_-‘ And no I was not going to actually show you more than that, it was just a bit of an example.
WEBCAM CHATS
Webcams are, without contest, some of the best things ever invented. Webcams allow people across the globe to talk, to laugh, to smile, and to finally see each other’s face, whether for the first time or the thousandth. They keep people connected, they let lovers see each other, they let friends play Truth or Dare, and they also let other things to happen.
People do things using webcams. I’m going to let you figure out just what….With this section following one on cybering, I think it shouldn’t be too difficult to guess. And sure it’s all good fun.
Thanks to webcams, I have realized my online German friend Domenic sounds Australian somehow. Thanks to webcams, me and my first love Savior got to hear each other’s voices for the first time and he got to hear my laughter—which he loved so much. Thanks to webcams love and friendship is so much stronger despite all the distance between us.
The only problems with webcams are the fact that sometimes it’s so hard to get the internet working well enough and sometimes it hurts so much to see but not touch…..It just shows you even more what you don’t have.
So webcams….They are amazing things. But they sometimes cause much more harm than good. It all depends on the people and the relationships between them. With friends it’s easier, but when you’re in love, webcams hurt….
LACK OF PICTURE
So let’s swing in the opposite direction, shall we? I covered the pros and cons of being able to see and hear each other, so let’s swing into the very opposite….Not having the faintest idea on what the other looks like.
It’s not easy……It’s really not easy. I guess that, without knowing the other’s face, your feelings are entirely based on their personality and their soul not on their face or body, which means that there could definitely be a much deeper connection than there would be if you could see them. And if you’re afraid that they won’t love you because of how you look, I guess that you will have your reasons behind not showing your face, but it is still not easy.
Look, I know that there are liars, creeps, pedophiles and the like out there. I know that it is important to have faith in the ones you love for them to be who they say they are. I know that knowing what is inside someone is more important than knowing what’s outside them.
But no I do not think that being in a relationship without being able to see their faces is a good idea…..
I cannot tell you what to do, dearest readers. I’m only stating my opinion.
UNKNOWN INFORMATION
There will always be things you don’t know about the one you love, whether online or in real life. There will always be parts of their past they won’t share, there will always be tiny things they won’t ever admit. There will always be some things you just never know….
But online the amount of unknown things increase….Things like location and other things aren’t so readily shared or known. In a real life relationship it’s pretty easy to find out if someone has a dog or cat, what kind of music they usually listen to, what kind of car they drive, where they like to go, their favorite movies. You can pretty easily find out about all of that without even having to ask. But online? You really need to ask them all of that, or maybe they’ll tell you without needing to be asked.
But that definitely does not always happen.
FALSE PERSONAS
And online……..Sometimes you never show all of yourself, and sometimes the person you show online really isn’t you. Or, at least, not all of you. How easy it is to change writing styles, create a fake life, a fake background. And if you’re good enough you can fool anyone with it. And if you have enough skill you can work it so you can PROVE you’re not the false persona. How? By talking together and interacting with each other.
I have done that. I do that a lot.
False personas always work best if they have something in common with you and their own stories. Unless they will be completely separate from you and your social circle, it’s important to give reasons as to why you know each other and why no one else does. And don’t have you and your false persona living in the same place…..It just does not work at all. Too many difficulties arise from people wanting to meet your false persona.
So….False personas are definitely a common thing. Someone fell in love with my false persona and I had to completely erase her a few weeks ago to avoid causing any more drama or being found out to be her. And I doubt anyone will ever realize the truth. Why? Because, if you’re smart, you can manage to have several false personas going at the same time.
The point behind me saying all of this is to show you how easy it truly can be to lie and be someone else online. There is no proof that you don’t love a false persona.
But…….Just because a fake persona is different from the real self doesn’t mean that everything is different. The feelings the fake persona feels can be very easily shared by the real person. I actually got jealous of my false persona for a while….
CONNECTIONS
So far I have stated the bad sides of all of this, showing how hard it is sometimes to hit a deep level with someone you have never met.
But now it’s time for you to show how easy it is.
Oh god so many things I have said and done online I never would have done in person….Online you can say and do so many things without fear. You will never meet these people so why worry about whether or not they’ll like the real you? Why not just…be the real you and let them judge you?
Online I am me. Online I do not worry about being crazy, about being hurt or laughed at. Online I am the real me, not the person everyone in person sees. It is so very easy to be free and know you are free.
Hitting a deep connection with someone online happens fast. If both of you open up to the other, and find a common ground, the things that can happen….You can be so honest. You can open up entirely. You can be everything you wish you were. And of course, if you meet in real life, things will be a lot different but they will be much better because of the amount of connections you already possess. Things are so different online than in person….
Are they better though? Or are they worse?
I believe they are perhaps better, but only because of my experiences with people in real life. The connections are different than in real life, but they are still worth while. And they are definitely true, no matter what.
FRIENDSHIPS
This section deserves to be written. There are many different kinds of love, and one of them is friendship. Online friends are amazing things to have. And if you find ones amazing enough, they will mean so much to you, and they will truly be your friends. Some of mine have gone very far for me, and one of them is moving here to stay with me because he knows I need him here. And besides it gets him out of Germany.
These friends that you make online are hard to compare to the ones you make in real life. It’s hard for an online friend to be the same things that a real life one is, but it is also just as hard for a real life friend to be the same things a real life one is. Some of my online gang knows me a million times better than some of the real life ones I have known for years, and we have been through more together as well. Of course the online drama is usually a lot more common than real life (or, at least, in my experience) but still there is definitely a difference between the two.
My real life friends ask me why I spend so much time with people I have never met and will never meet. I have never really managed to give an explanation, but spending this time with them is something I do and something I do often. I trust them. Care for them. Would go pretty freaking far for them.
The same thing goes for the real life ones I have.
FAMILIES
Currently I have two families. My real life one: My mom, dad, and brother. My online one has more….My brothers: Domenic, Adam, Ridd, Yuu, and Alexavier. My sisters: Saira and Amanda. My son: Simon. These are all the online friends I have that have declared themselves to be an official part of my family. Currently I am without a clue on how to put my ex fiancée into this—he’s the brother of my son but he is definitely a brother to me, despite all the things we had been.
An online family is made up of people you can truly rely on and people you love with all your heart, but are not in love with. My brothers I adore, joke around with, laugh with, comfort with hugs and kisses on the cheek when they’re crying, or rest my head on their shoulders and weep in their arms when I need to. My sisters I talk about guys with, trade comfort, joke around with. My son Simon and I care about each other deeply and even act like mother and son. An online family can be a family to you when you have no one else. And Adam….My brother Adam has told me many a time I’m the only true family he has. And I do not argue with that. I will be whatever they need me to be, as long as they do the same in return.
Of course, the depth of connection is different than with a real one, and you haven’t known your online family for anywhere near the same amount of time. But yet….Does it matter? They are a family to you if you allow them to be.
TRUST
In the end, it always comes down to trust….Can you trust them to not be using you for some fun? Can you trust them to see you and still love you, or accept you when you are not brave enough to? Can you trust them enough to look beyond not knowing their face? Can you trust them enough to let the little things go and be happy with the things you do know about them? Can you trust them to not be false? Can you trust them enough to allow a deeper connection to build? Can you trust them to be a true friend to you? Can you trust them to perhaps be a better family to you than your real one?
Or will you listen to the warnings against an online world? Will you listen to the horror stories of pedophiles, of rape, of lives ruined? Will you listen to the ones who have never had an online life preach about how it is a dangerous thing to do when they have not experienced it themselves?
People online can and will hurt you. But so can people in the real world.
Do not forget that the dangers that present themselves online are perhaps quite a bit less serious than the ones in the real world. Do not forget that, even for an instant, that the bad ones are everywhere you go, whether online or in real life.
I believe in online love. I believe in online life. I believe in this world being whatever we make it out to be.
Make your choice on whether or not to believe me.
But remember this: An online world can never replace a real one.
I’m learning that the hard way….
