Forgiveness? Atonement? Trust? Loyalty? Love?--Life Post

I should be asleep. But...I'm not. And.....I've barely slept. Barely eaten. I don't know anything anymore. Everything is going so fast.......There's nothing left that I can understand......

Hey kiddies.......Would you forgive me if I just walked away forever? From all of this?

Would you forgive me if I never posted on here again?

Never Tweeted?

Never answered emails?

Deactivated everything and just walked away?

Forever?

I doubt you would. *Dramatic sigh.*

Which is why I won't.

Kiddies....You guys know how hard this is on me. How much I'm hurting. How I'm breaking.

How I'm looking for a way to self-destruct.

Kiddies, I love you.

I just can no longer control the path of my life.

Tolga is gone.

Dylan still loves me.

I belong to my Wolf.

And...Emily hates me......

I know that's old news kiddies, but.....I just.......I just can't anymore......

And Joseph....*Laughs.* Why do I still even bother mentioning him?

It doesn't matter anymore world.

None of this matters anymore.

Can I forgive myself for the things I did with Tolga and how much I hurt both him, Emily, Dylan, and god only knows who else? Can I atone for the wrongs I have committed and the mistakes I have made? Can I trust myself to not destroy everything I have worked so hard to get? Can I remain loyal to someone I will barely get the chance to speak to?

Can I love someone when I doubt I can even love myself?

Kiddies........Kill me.....

Yours Truly,

Black Rabbit, Princess, and Angel.