Lately I've claimed to be incapable of it, but that's not true.
I love and I love.
It almost kills me, so I numb myself from feeling most of it.
If I was to feel all of it, I doubt I could ever truly function.
I'm not okay, I'm not okay....I haven't been okay for a very long time.
But I'll keep going.
I've got my past behind me to run from.
My future to chase.
I can't stop moving, or I'll drown....
I'll drown because if I stop to let myself feel I'll realize there's nothing true behind the mask.
Not any more.
I died when Dylan left me for Marianne.
I died when Adonis abandoned me.
I died when Alexander told me he was gay.
I've been dead for a while now, but I'm not gonna fucking go sleep.
I'm gonna live.
Live as much as I can. Love as much as I can.
A million scars.
I'll be fine, cuz that's all I'll ever be.
I'm okay, so don't worry.
Don't you fucking worry.
But for now, I'm going to take all my pain and just let it die, because in the end....
I'm not okay (I promise.)
I love you world.
Always and forever.