Okay, turning caps lock off.
I just can't believe it....
It's been a year.
Three hundred and sixty five days.
From the beginning of grade nine to the beginning of grade ten.
From fourteen to fifteen.
From Dylan and Emily to Ted.
From breaking to healing.
From online to real life.
I've come far.
Done a hell of a lot.
Been through some things no one would believe.
I'm a fifteen year old girl.
At this stage of life, who isn't dramatic?
Hormones are raging. Love is new and frightening and overwhelming. Mistakes are mind-numbingly easy to make. Bodies are getting more and more beautiful. Men are taking more notice for the very first time. It is so flattering! So sweet! So nice....
I'm fifteen years old, and my love life is insane. At least it used to be....These days, though, I'm with Ted and I'm doing better.
Everything is better now.
I love you.
You, my amazing, adorable, kind, sweet, psychotic, good, great, patient, vengeful, understanding, incredible readers.
I wouldn't post as much if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't write poetry as much these days if I hadn't started writing it here. And god knows I would not be as strong if it was not for you. You give me a great deal of confidence by taking the time to read about me, my loves....
Some of you I know.
Some of you I don't.
Some of you are regular readers.
A lot of you aren't.
A small few of you have been with me since the beginning.
Some of you haven't.
It's been a long, hard run. The world has changed again and again. Being gay has become illegal in many parts of the world. The world has become different. I've become different.
I have a lot of regrets but....
If I hadn't made those mistakes....
If I had not gone through all that hell....
If I had not done what I did....
What the hell would I have written about?
Let's face it loves, all this blog is is ME.
My pain and my happiness. My love and my loss. My tears and my laughter.
This blog is nothing but drama.
And yet you put up with it.
And yet you keep coming back.
You accept me for who I am, my amazing readers.
I will always be grateful for that.....
Today, I walked home from the bus stop smiling and singing and laughing.
Would I have done that a year ago?
No....I really doubt it.
I am a lot happier now than I used to be.
I'm no longer sad and depressed.
I am no longer hurting.
I am getting a lot better.
And I love my life....
I have an amazing boyfriend, an amazing life, and some really good friends.
I shouldn't complain about the things I've got....
The past and the past, and today is a day of celebration.
I'm better now....
And even if I'm hurt...
The world will get better.
I just gotta have faith.
And try like hell to MAKE IT BETTER.
I am good.
I am bad.
Whom you love.
So, I'll leave you with this one little song....
Happy Birthday to Normal Ain't Normal