I've done this to myself.
I have DONE THIS to myself.
I have gone through heaven and hell--BECAUSE OF THINGS I DECIDED TO DO.
I have suffered COUNTLESS agonies and hells because of my mistakes.
Because of things I did.
And I can't do this any more.
I can't suffer. I need to change my life, for the better.
And, one day...I need to find a way OUT of the wall. Find an iron pickaxe...Find an ESCAPE.
Find an escape to...love. And life. And light.
To all the things I have fled from.
I need to escape. I need to be free. I need to be alive. I need to get better.
Forget the fucking diamond.
Forget my scars.
I need to live, and this year...
I'm going to damn well try!
I'm going to damn well try to be better. Try to make better friends. Try to be better.