She was gone again, and I was alone. I was standing on a street corner, sitting alone, tired and sick.
She was gone and I was left behind. Forever? No. Definitely not. How could I be so alone?
She was gone. Why did I miss Her?
I didn’t want Her! I didn’t deserve this….This sweet torture, this sweet agony.
Why did I miss Her? Why did I need Her?
I knew why. I was weak, and I truly knew that I had not killed Her. I did not know what happened
that night—all I knew was that I did NOT kill Her. I did not kill Her.
But who had?
Did it even matter?
She was dead, She was here, and She was going to make us suffer.
She enjoyed it.
No other real reason than that.
I looked around. Where to go? There was nowhere I could go that She couldn’t find me—and all I cared about was another visit from Her. It wasn’t like I needed anywhere to stay. I’d find someone to let me stay with, someone I didn’t like very much.
And then I saw him.
He had blond hair, blue-green eyes, pouty lips, cheap jeans and a jean jacket over an old band t-shirt. He met my eyes, and nodded slowly in recognition. “Hello, Jamie my sweet.”
I nodded back, and muttered, “Hello, Nick.”
We had been lovers once.
Ah, Jamie was here! I smiled, pleased to see him. It had been so long since I had seen him. We had had our fun, our laughter, our nights together. But then that had ended, and I was unhappy. I’d missed my sweet, sweet Jamie….
But now we were sitting across from each other in a booth in a small restaurant off the main, a beer across from each of us, a plate piled high with Italian food sitting between us.
Just as things had been before.
I smiled, touching his hand gently. “You can stay with me….” I murmured, soft and slow. I watched him react—his eyes closing, sighing at the familiar tone. He remembered….had he missed this as much as I have? Had he missed the softness, the gentleness, the idle trust? He knew I loved him—but he knew that he and I had left each other for the better.
“I need to be with you….” Jamie softly murmurs back, looking away from me. “I can’t be alone anymore….”
My heart bled for my sweet, sweet Jamie.
But I knew he lied.
I knew he lied to me. I knew he didn’t need me, I knew he didn’t love me, I knew he didn’t want me the way I needed him. He was straight—he’d only faked wanting me. I’d always known—but yet I loved him. He touched my hand, his eyes dark, focused on mine, his lips parted faintly. He was good at lying—he was talented.
But why did I still believe him?
His hand brushed against my arm, and I remembered.
He needed me, and he was willing to go through hell to be with me.
That’s all that mattered.
So I was back to lying. Back to pretending. Back to faking.
Back to pretending I loved him.
Nick smiles, tracing a line up my arm. I pretended to smile, to tremble, to enjoy it. He smiles at me
gently, gently nibbling at the plate of food. I had scarce touched it—no true energy to eat. He noticed, eyeing me carefully, softly frowning. “Are you not hungry, Jamie my sweet?” he murmurs, his voice worried.
I make an effort to eat after that.
“I’m hungry, it’s been so long since I had anything good…” I say quietly, my head down, Nick’s hand gently caressing me still. It drifts to my shoulder and I force myself so shiver, to pretend. Nick smiles and takes his hand in mine, drawing it to his lips for a single kiss.
“Are you okay, Jamie? Oh Jamie my sweet, you don’t look well. Have you been eating?” Nick says worriedly then, noticing when I fail to answer.
“I’ve…I’ve been okay. A bit sick but…getting better.…” Knowing I’m walking on thin ice, I quickly throw myself into the total weakness persona—tiny whimpers, pout, eyes downcast, trembling hands. Nick can’t help himself, and he practically runs around the table to kneel beside my chair, pulling me in for a long tight hug.
“I’m here for you, sweet, sweet Jamie….Forever until the end.”
I had no idea where Jamie was. I hoped he was okay—but I had the feeling I knew he’d found an old friend to stay with. I just hoped he was okay….
But I had other people to worry about.
I had dialed my parent’s numbers dozens of times, calling neighbors, old friends, people I’d once known, trying to see if they were okay. But no one ever answered.
And, the few times that they did, they told me that they were away. Where? No one knew.
I just had to sit alone, in the dark and in the silence of my lover’s apartment, eyes closed, sighing. That was all that I could do.
But I knew I couldn’t just sit here! I had to try. Try something, anything. The problem was….What exactly do you do when you deal with a ghost?
I swore, slammed my hands over my face, muttering to myself. “Alright, so I’ve got a ghost haunting me. What do you do when you have a ghost?”
Then, the answer smacked me in the back of the head.
I couldn’t believe it. How had we not thought of this before? I swore a few times, and ran right to Stacy’s home laptop, flicking open the pink little monster, touching it as little as I could. How she had managed to purchase such a small and cute pink….thing I had no idea, but here it was, hot pink and about the size of a paperback. To make matters even worse, it also had a healthy array of Hello Kitty stickers scattered on it. Well here was a girl who needed maybe a bit of help.
I eventually managed to manipulate the laptop, getting to Google after a bit of delicate fingering. And yes, I am aware of the fact that I just wrote that.
I sighed, and went right to work, trying to ignore the bristling of the hair on the back of my neck, the sweet scent that flooded the room, and the gentle brush of fingertips across my cheek.
I was destroying them.
And now Nicky Boy had joined the game….
One more person they loved that I could destroy.
One more person that was there that night I could end.
I smiled, laughing.
Ah, such sweet destruction I could inflict upon them….
Who cares that none of them had killed me?
And, oh, would you look at that! Logan was looking for an exorcist. Well you had to give the boy
points for finally figuring out a way to fight back, eh?
But of course it wouldn't work....
I was too smart for it, and there weren't many true exorcists. Not many at all.