~~A Reason Behind The Curtain~~

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~~His Little Angel~~

I curl up
Against his side
Hear his breath
Heartbeat
Soft laughter
Familiar voice
He breathes
Wraps an arm
So warm
Around my shoulders
He holds me
Kisses me
Strokes his hand
Through my hair
I shiver
He smiles, softly
Lovingly
Runs a hand
Down my arm
Laughing when goosebumps rise
He raises my chin
Pushes my glasses
Back up my nose
Meets my eyes
Smiles, so tenderly
Kisses my nose
And lets me go
Back down on his chest
And I fall asleep
In his arms
And as I slip
Into dreamless sleep
He whispers
Into the silence:
"I love you....
"My little angel."

~~Forgotten Love: A Story Told In Free Verse~~

So today's the first

Day back

Summer's over apparently

I look, and spy

Her..Ashley

My girlfriend

From last semester

Before summer came.

I haven't seen her since

The last day of school

Been a while...

"Hey," said I, looking

Deep, deep, searching

For an old feeling

Something I no longer felt

"Oh, hey Jamie," Ashley said softly

Her blue eyes

Like fallen

Shards

Of sky

Drop demurely

To the tiled

Hallway floor

"How was summer?"

She asks, such a

Simple question. A

Floundering try

For the resuming

Of old and worn feelings?

Or just a simple

Conversation starter?

I fumble for an

Answer, something

Simple

Easy

Casual--casual

Above all else:

"It was nice. Video games

"Reading. Hiking, Texting.

"You know

"The drill."

She nods, and she

Raises her small round

Shoulders

In a distracted shrug

"Mine was good. Camp."

Ashley says softly

Her eyes flicking

Darting like the

Final brief twitchings

Of an insect's legs

Before they die

Her eyes meet mine

And this time

My eyes drop to the floor

Away from hers

I fumble, flick

My ragged black hair

Out of my eyes

Shove hands into jeans pockets

Sift through the English language

Searching for

The perfect word:

"Cool," I say, kicking

Restlessly at the floor

She nods, and says

Something

Indecipherable

And slowly

Walks

Away

And I slowly

Almost

Too 

Slowly

Snap out of

My reverie

And sprint

Forwards

Catching her arm

Pressing my lips to hers

Just one last time

Before I let her go

I smile faintly

Help her pick up

The books she'd

Dropped

When I grabbed her

She gives a nod

Of thanks

And wanders away

Again

But this time

Three little words

Three little

Sparkling

Hopeful

Sad

Gems

Drop into

The azure ocean

Of pure silence:

"I

"Missed

"You."

~~As Time Goes By~~

We grow up slowly

Trying hard to learn

Living and getting older

Slowly growing colder

Everything drifts away

We close ourselves off

As time goes by

The screams grow quiet

Everything changes and nothing stays the same

Nothing can remain

Friends forever walk away

And are eventually forgotten

Love waxes and wanes

And things begin to rearrange

I loved you

And I still remember you

But now can you please

Just close yourself off?

So I don't hurt you?

So long has passed since

We last spoke

I wish I could have said goodbye

But our time went by

~~Raphael's Letter~~

Hold on to me tightly now

Here comes the cliff

And the final leap of faith

Let me lift you in my wings

Don’t you see the dawn’s light?

Little one I’m here for you

I will shelter you

In my arms and curl you close

I’ll look into your eyes

Kiss your hair

And hold you against me

Listen to my heart beat

Listen to the familiar sound

Dry your unfamiliar tears

And smile that smile I know so well

Do you hear my heart beat love?

Do you see my smile?

I’m standing here right beside you

Holding you against me again

Don’t cry, don’t cry

Shush, little one, please

If there is no one else

If you are abandoned and alone

If no one is hearing your screams

If you’re begging to be released

If you’re standing on the edge

About to fall and drown

Longing for the final freedom

Then just call my name

And I will be there

My beautiful girl

My little one

Mine.

~~Hurting You By Breathing~~

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Emptiness flowing, hardness inside

A vicious victorious grin

I can’t take this right now

Standing so tall—but it’s all fake

Nothing is right—nothing at all

Breathing inside, but drowning without

So much doubt, and confidence

I guess I know the reasons

I guess I know its cause

I guess I know who to blame

I guess I know what to do

But I don’t know why

Why does this have to happen?

Who made this decision?

Who? Why? When? Where? How?

This just isn’t right…..

I love you

But I don’t

I trust you

But I’m afraid

I need you

But I could live without you

I can’t hurt you

But I’m hurting you by breathing!

You’re the last thing that’s good

The last one I really want

The last hurrah of heaven

But you

Are not the one I need

I’m dying here alone

As you’re watching me bleed

I hurt you by being alive

You hurt me by being dead

Won’t you just see?

Won’t you just turn around and look

Right back at me?

But if you looked

Would it change anything?

Or would I still be here

Hurting you?

Hurting me?

Dying inside

And praying for a freedom

That I will never get?

Is it meaningless to apologize?

It is, when you don’t mean it

At all.