~~I Never Said Goodbye: For Adam~~

You had been the first

To look at me and hold me tight

You had been the first

To come into my room, and turn on the light

You were the only one

Who ever could do what you did

You were the only one

To see so clearly what I hid

You were the best one

At making me feel loved

You were the best one

At taking the hands that were black gloved

You will be the only one

That I treat this badly

You will be the only one

That I leave so sadly

If things were different

I would be your Angel

If things were different

I wouldn't be joining you in Hell....

~~Once More with Feeling, Please~~

How often do you say you love?

How often do you say you feel the sun above?

How often do you say you smile?

How often have you cried in the last while?

Don't mention the fatal words

That you say makes you different from the herds

Don't expect me to believe you

When you often say things that aren't true

Tell me the truth just once, alright?

Smile and really smile so it shines so bright

I love you very much

And I know too well how you flinch from my touch

Don't lie to me any more

I helped you slam the door

On everything in your past

Praying to god that we would last

But the longer you go without being real

Is the longer I doubt that you will ever feel

I just hope to god that one day

You will no longer be "Just okay....."

~~I Think I'm Healing~~

Call me no kind names (I don't want it….)

Don't hold me tight (I can't stand it)

Don't tell me you love me (I can't feel it)

Please don't care about me (I never deserved it)

You hold me so tightly

It feels like I'm strangling

You tell me you need me oh so sweetly

I try to reply in kind, but I'm choking

Call me no kind names (I don't want it….)

Don't hold me tight (I can't stand it)

Don't tell me you love me (I can't feel it)

Please don't care about me (I never deserved it)

And you hold me

And you brush back my hair

You lean in to kiss me

But I'm not there

Call me no kind names (I don't want it….)

Don't hold me tight (I can't stand it)

Don't tell me you love me (I can't feel it)

Please don't care about me (I never deserved it)

Will I ever accept it again?

I did once, so long ago

I wish I could know when

I can never let you go

Call me no kind names (I don't want it….)

Don't hold me tight (I can't stand it)

Don't tell me you love me (I can't feel it)

Please don't care about me (I never deserved it)

I hope that I will heal

And the numbness inside will finally fade

And every word I speak about love will be real

And you will become my light in the shade

Please call me kind names, I need it

Please clutch me close, I can't live without it

Please tell me you love me, I think I can return it

Care about me I beg, I think I deserve it….

~~I Felt Like Dropping In: Good Morning Post~~

Hello everyone, my day has begun. I am just beginning my very first class of the day--which is science by the by.

I'm growing up....

I really am one weird girl, aren't I?

I need to get writing more though!!!

I barely have written at all in a long time and NaNoWriMo is almost over....

Well, I'll write soon....

Going to Ted's tonight til around 10:00 pm.

Love ya all!

~Angel

~~Oddly Amused and Annoyed: Life Post~~

Okay.

I have news.

1. THE GSA IS MOST LIKELY CLOSED!!!!!!! *Insert FLIPPIN HUGE stream of swears here*
2. Our dryer is broken
3. People are FAILING a lunch class
4. I have handed in all assignments--something they failed to do; I have a 98.8% average--people have less than fifty; I got a 103.3% mark on an open book test which they failed....

Okay guys.....Here's a better overview.

1. The GSA is closed because of some form of teacher issue. Now, teachers are no longer allowed to work on lunch breaks and email outside of school. Also, they can no longer do extracurriculars, so I'm pretty sure sports are closing down as well. And they also can't help with homework during any time but class time. WHAT TEH HELL DO WE DO?

2. I don't know what's wrong with it but it's making a noise....But of course, we've lived here for around eight years....

3. HOW ARE THEY FAILING?

4. Probably WHY they're failing the lunch class.

Okay, so yes.

Today was incredibly odd. It was a pretty good day--and I'm done my homework right now.

So....

Um....

Freedom?

Yay?

~~~The Diamond Gag Shall Return: Notice Post~~

Oh yes. I decided something.

I shall now bring back the blog ~~The Diamond Gag~~.

It is being undeleted as we speak, and the first post will be posted shortly.

It is for discussions and thoughts on the BDSM lifestyle, a handful of assorted tips and things on it from scattered places, and the occasional piece of erotic fiction.

What?

As the link says...

Normalcy be damned.

If you feel like checking it out, go here.

Have fun loves.

~~Let Love be Love: Life Post and Poem~~

Let love be love, my little one

Let go of the past

So what if you and them didn't last?

So what if they never cared?

So what if it was always a lie?

Ted won't be like them. I promise

Let him prove to you

How you feel

How it is real

Let the real love in

Don't doubt it when it comes

You've been hurt

Don't even pretend you haven't

Be honest about how you feel

And show me it's real

Don't hide from me....

That was written by Raphael. He seems to be writing a lot on here these days....

I need to...Get better. I need to get over my problems. I always needed to....

Life is hard but I'm making it harder. I'm loving those I shouldn't love. Trusting those I shouldn't trust.

If I can....I'll stop.

When I can...I'll stop.

And I say that too much but I don't have the courage to stop. I'm not brave enough to say: "It's love.....I can love."

I'm not brave enough to trust it's real.

I'm not brave enough.....

Will I be brave enough one day?

I hope so...

This is Broken Angel, signing off for the night.

I love you, oh my beautiful ones.