~~Help Me: Life Post~~

I need help.

I'm addicted and it truly is obvious now.

I'm still addicted to being a cam whore, to being who I was, who....Who I still am.

And maybe who I always will be.

I thought I was over it, but....But I'm not. I'm still drowning alone and there's no one who can help me.

I try to hide it but the pain....

The pain of realizing I'm nothing more than an addict is very apparent in my eyes.

Hell, today I had a snow cone and a poutine and I'm still depressed.....

There are a ton of reasons why and I....I don't have the heart to say.

I haven't cammed yet but there are a lot of guys asking and....And I'm trying to say no but I want to, oh God....Oh God I still want to! I still want to....

 

Here....I'll tell you why I'm this way...

1. I got hit on a lot, and always by older guys
2. Simon and I got into another fight
3. Adam attempted suicide again
4. Adam's boyfriend Matt is beating him (throwing him across rooms and into walls etc.)
5. I want to cam so badly
6. The fact that I'm addicted is terrifying me....
7. A snow cone failed to cheer me up.
8. I'm sitting alone under the stairs, trying not to cry right now
9. I made some really cool new friends though--all of which aren't interested in me sexually
10. Ted and I won't see each other today, or this weekend

Oh kiddies.....

I need help.

I need help.

Please!!!!!!